Someone is holding a grudge against you! His or her actions towards you are less than kind and down right rude! Nothing you said or did warrants your current situation with him or her! How will you handle it? This article shares strategies for dealing with this very common problem of grudges by looking at a similar situation in the Bible. The term grudge evokes the ugly images of words such as; spite, hate, hostility, contempt, malice and scorn. To have a grudge against someone is to have feelings of resentment and bitterness. The grudge holder usually harbors feelings of envy, dislike and jealousy. Besides having a mean disposition toward the intended grudge recipient, it causes petty and rancorous behavior within the grudge holder.
Examining the biblical account of the infamous grudge that King Saul had against David, we discover that their relationship started amicably. Saul was often tormented so his advisers found David to serenade him with soothing harp melodies. Although David loved King Saul and felt privileged to serve him, a nasty grudge marred their relationship.
The grudge started after David slew Goliath, the giant, on behalf of King Saul. People became so excited that they sang praises ascribing a larger victory to David than they did to their king. Jealousy consumed Saul and from that point, he plotted David’s death.
- Saul required David to bring a dowry of one hundred foreskins from the Philistines to marry his daughter, Michal.
- Saul threw a javelin at David on three separate occasions.
- Saul tried to kill David in his daughter’s home.
- Saul pursued David and had eighty-five priests killed after one priest helped him. He massacred men, women and children leaving only one survivor.
- Saul chased David to the wilderness, yet David was able to cut off Saul’s skirt unnoticed. David could have avenged himself; instead, he showed mercy and did not injure Saul.
- Saul was remorseful for a while and promised not to harm David.
- Saul, after a season, pursued David with three thousand men to kill him.
- Saul and his men fell into a deep sleep while David again got close enough to Saul to take his spear and water bottle. David had the opportunity to destroy Saul, yet he refused to hurt GOD’S anointed king.
- Penitent, Saul again promised to lay his grudge aside and spare David’s life. (For entire account, read 1 Samuel 16:15 – 1 Samuel 26:25, AMP)
Perhaps like David, you did nothing to cause a grudge. It could be inside your family, at the work place or within someone you once considered a friend. Use David’s strategy by confronting the grudge holder with kindness. Do not become vengeful and return evil for evil. Although this Bible story depicts what David endured because of a grudge, remember, GOD protected him in every instance.
My advice is to look at the ultimate example of JESUS CHRIST, so that you can forgive the person who is holding a grudge against you. While JESUS hung on the cross dying for you and me, HE asked our FATHER in heaven to forgive HIS murderers. By forgiving, JESUS gave the matter to GOD and was free to accomplish HIS purpose. As Christians, the Bible instructs you to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, to show that you are the children of your Father in heaven. (See Matthew 5:44-45, AMP)
It is that simple! Through your forgiveness, you refuse to accept the grudge sent your way. GOD’S word promises that no weapon formed against you will prosper. (Isaiah 54:17, NKJV) Much like refusing the delivery of an obviously despicable package, you can triumph in this situation by returning the grudge to the sender, unopened! Label it, “Return to Sender, Address Unknown.” The grudge holder owns the problem and holds all of the evil, hard feelings and overall ugliness associated with it.
No matter the relationship, do not become distracted nor encumbered with spiteful and malicious grudge holders. Your purpose is too important and your time is too precious to waste. Enjoy your life because you belong to the Omnipotent GOD and HE has great things in store for you! When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone’s way, HE causes their enemies to make peace with them. Proverbs 16:7, TNIV